When Riot finally unleashed 2XKO in Early Access this year after teasing us since 2019, I practically tripped over my own excitement rushing to download it. As a League veteran who's accidentally ulted minions more times than I'd care to admit, seeing my favorite champions brawl in tag-team glory felt like Christmas morning with rocket boosters. But oh boy, did I get humbled faster than a Yasuo main at a wind wall convention when I realized not all champs are created equal in this frantic fighter. Let me take you through my chaotic journey across the current roster - complete with faceplants, unexpected triumphs, and enough salt to season a Noxian banquet.
11. Braum: The Lovable Meat Shield
Bless his fuzzy mustache, Braum's basically the friendly neighborhood bouncer who means well but moves like he's wading through frozen porridge. That glorious shield of his? Absolutely fantastic for eating damage while your partner recovers - I've saved countless matches by yelling "GET BEHIND ME!" like some overzealous bodyguard. But trying to actually win with him feels like attempting ballet in cement shoes. His wind-up animations take so long I could brew coffee between punches, and his hitbox might as well be a "PUNCH HERE" sign. Still, I adore having him as my hype-man in doubles matches - just don't make him carry anything heavier than morale.
10. Blitzcrank: The Grabby Backup Dancer
Who needs finesse when you've got ROCKET GRAB? Playing Blitz feels like having a cheat code for chaos - his assist yanks opponents into the most satisfyingly disrespectful combos. I've cackled maniacally watching enemies fly across screen like ragdolls while my Jinx partner rained rockets on them. But oh sweet hextech, playing him solo is torture! He's about as threatening alone as a toaster without bread - all clunky movements and whiffed punches. Still, nothing beats the dopamine hit of landing that perfect grab when your partner yells "YEET THEM!" in voice chat. Just... maybe swap him out before he becomes scrap metal.
9. Jinx: The Chaotic Glass Cannon
Playing Jinx is like conducting explosive orchestra from the back row - until someone sneezes in your direction and your entire symphony implodes. Her zoning game is disgustingly fun; I've trapped opponents between flame chompers and Fishbones rockets until they rage-quit. But trying to set up without protection feels like juggling dynamite blindfolded. The moment a rushdown champ gets past my pink-haired barricade? I might as well mash the respawn button immediately. She's my go-to when I want to feel like a tactical genius... until the illusion shatters faster than her fragile ego in Arcane season 3.
8. Vi: The Ground-Pounding Brawler
Vi's my spirit animal when I'm feeling aggressively straightforward - why strategize when you can FALCON PUNCH everything? Her gap-closing dashes feel like being shot from a cannon, and landing her rapid-fire combos delivers the same visceral satisfaction as popping bubble wrap. But heaven help you if the enemy goes airborne! Watching her helplessly wave at flying opponents like someone swatting mosquitoes is comedy gold. I once spent an entire match against Ahri jumping and whiffing so pathetically my teammate DM'd me "Maybe stick to the ground, champ?" Lesson learned: she's a tornado on terra firma but a sitting duck in skies.
7. Darius: The Beginner's Best Friend
When my brain's fried from work, Darius is my comfort pick - like playing fighter games on easy mode with bonus dunking. His combos are gloriously simple: yank them with Apprehend and watch health bars evaporate with satisfying THWACKS. I've clutched rounds with his ult that had me shouting "DUNKED ON!" like a madman. But against seasoned players? Oh how the mighty get kited! His wind-ups scream "PUNISH ME" to anyone with quick reflexes. He's the training wheels champ - fantastic for learning fundamentals but you'll eventually crave flashier toys. Still, nothing beats the primal joy of executing Noxian Guillotine as the KO blow.
6. Warwick: The Feral Gap-Closer
Where Vi struggles, Warwick SHINES! This fuzzball of fury is what happens when you give a berserker jet skates. His aerial presence alone makes him worth picking - nothing funnier than swatting cocky jumpers like flies with his anti-air claws. And when Bloodlust kicks in? Oh mama! I've turned matches around by going full werewolf mode, healing through punishment like some unkillable horror movie villain. Pro tip: pair him with a zoner like Jinx and watch enemies panic as they get mauled whether they approach or retreat. Just maybe don't play him before bedtime unless you want wolf-chase nightmares!
5. Illaoi: The Tentacle Terror
Controlling Illaoi feels like conducting a tentacle orchestra where every note slaps harder than my aunt's cheek pinches. Her zoning is gloriously oppressive - I've trapped opponents in corners with waving appendages while laughing at their futile escape attempts. And her assists? Chef's kiss! Watching tentacles erupt during partner combos never gets old. The only downside? Setting up feels like assembling IKEA furniture mid-brawl. But once those slappy boys are positioned? Pure domination. She's my go-to when I want to feel like a tactical sea goddess... just maybe skip her if you're squeamish about wriggly things.
4. Teemo: The Satanic Scout
Never have I felt such pure, unadulterated evil joy as when playing this fuzzy war criminal. His kit is psychological warfare perfected: drop mushrooms like toxic landmines, vanish into bushes like a phantom, then pop out to dart someone so hard they question life choices. The rage-quits I've induced? Glorious! One opponent actually messaged "I hope you step on LEGO" after dying to my third invisible dart. But mastering him requires chaotic neutral energy - I've accidentally dashed INTO combos more times than I've escaped them. Pro tip: pair him with Braum for maximum salt generation. The shield-and-shroom combo makes people angrier than a Yasuo with no minions.
3. Ahri: The Mobile Menace
Ahri's tutorial placement is the biggest bait since my ex said "I'll just borrow your credit card." She looks approachable with her fancy dashes and sparkly orbs, but mastering her feels like solving quantum physics while juggling. When it clicks though? Chef's kiss! I've dodged supers by feather-stepping with elegance that made opponents spam "BULLSHIT" in chat. But the execution barrier is REAL - I've fumbled combos so badly my hands looked like overcooked spaghetti. She's perfect when you want to style on people with graceful aggression, but be prepared to whiff spectacularly until muscle memory kicks in. Still, nothing beats the dopamine of pulling off her extended air combos!
2. Yasuo: The Sword Saint
Yasuo mains unite! ...in needing therapy after dropping his insane combos. This edgelord embodies high-risk/high-reward gameplay - when you're flowing with him, it's like conducting lightning with a katana. I've shredded health bars with combos so long they required hydration breaks, and landing his flashy supers feels better than finding cash in old jeans. But oh, the pain when you mess up! Dropping his intricate sequences leaves you more vulnerable than a minion wave at turret. He's the ultimate test of execution - I've both clutched tournaments and faceplanted embarrassingly with him. Pro tip: pair him with a lockdown assist like Blitzcrank to maximize his blender potential. Just... maybe keep a stress ball handy.
So here we are, back where we started - me grinning like an idiot while getting my butt kicked in Riot's latest chaos simulator. Remember folks, this Early Access meta's shakier than my hands after six espresso shots. Today's top tier could be tomorrow's training dummy! Personally? I'll keep bouncing between Yasuo's high-wire act and Braum's wholesome shielding antics. Because whether I'm styling with foxfires or accidentally shielding thin air, 2XKO's pure, unadulterated mayhem reminds me why I fell in love with League's champions in the first place. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got more mushrooms to plant and combos to drop spectacularly!